memorized/mesmerized

I let my hands wrap around a piece of memory

close my eyes and feel the weight of your palm

the crack in your voice

ringing a low pitch

if I stand still enough

I feel a buzz in the air

the sharpness of my heart beat

soft steps on carpet

embrace the heat of a stare upon my face

I smile widely

teeth splayed in naïveté

sweet spot of time unleashes

and soon the tears hang

covering cheeks

it is not all lost on me

Sweet side

Wishing to pull the sheets up

We’d go under

I could see your smile in the minds eye

Hoping on a Star one day we’ll find

Sweet times to curl up inside

No more masks to try and hide behind

A soft tumble

A magnetic pull

Can’t shake the feeling

There’s so much more to shine

Loss of words

Softening middle of sweet memory

It curls up into my lap

Holds me in the wind

How could I hold onto the words that slipped

Through these lips at a time

Suspended in the mind

Intertwine my fingers

In the delicate fabric of a moment

I’d keep it still

For as long as possible

Pressed up against the longing

Of a nostalgic bliss

The skin sat more freely upon my brow

Now strains in worry

Shoulder to shoulder

With my sweet seconds

Muted in eternity

Early spring

Are you still smiling at the wind blown petals

Picking up in the wind

I slept below the inch of time

Where the weather kicked in

Eyes turned towards the sky

I try but I don’t know why

To see how far I could go

Without the moment to pass me by

Soft and tender it slowed

My far too stressed and ignored

Mutter a loose tongued lullaby

To show no fear or prepare

Vulnerability it curled

Clings to my side

With enough honest bedside

The rain it touched these cheeks unnoticed

Too grown to see where it emerges

Oh it’s far below now

The eyes they could not have seen

The naked flowers

So gone out of reach

Awareness

I see a rainbow hue

In the smoke above my head

Bled out it reaches the cracks in my frame now

The blind spot that’s been out of reach

For sometime now

Footsteps that are leaving

Won’t sound any different

You’ll just hear it again

The same motion keeps repeating

Pressing lightly at the corners of your thoughts

Prod a little further

At what cost

Another dose of silence

A heavy glow in perspective

Another mask to fold

When you find the blind spot

The one the blood runs from

Run to it

Express the uncertainty

To the over exposure of guilt

Make waves of time

With out grown hands

Bringing peace to set motion

A second to mend

Faintly

It’s eating away

acid erosion seeping through thin layers

I’m smiling, but do you hear that?

the creek of a lonely wheel so slight

It might just need some grease you say

hold tight

I felt it when it started pouring out

A word or two that didn’t sound like myself

Ever so small

A whisper of a sort

Comes out in whispered tones

Bare teeth snarl

Clawing at the dirt

Digging for more

It was empty, I know

But I needed to be sure

That all that was damaged

Didn’t have a glimpse of hope

I could’ve known

I could’ve guessed

The pain is always there

Always pressed

It’s nothing more of a time so sensitive

It keeps going into morning

Nothing less

Bore through night

Fit so well inside the puzzle so right

I should’ve saw

I should’ve wondered

Why the winds blew so hard

And took me under

Unearthed

The salt rips through my lungs

gushing until gargle is only the sound

reverberating

climbing onto the limbs of others

planted on safe ground

unwrapping the present

a peace in time

flowing from lips crusted

patting myself dry

broken limbs are weak

thoughts too heavy

kept in a box beside my bed

weight against the levy

Home

Fear took all of the posters down

boxes pushed towards the door

A year in passing since it’s been through these halls

That loneliness has painted over

The curl of lip over teeth

muted murmurs with jaws clenched

suffer of silence in music less rooms

echo now

blinds shut out the sound

the passing traffic of a busy day

do not touched what is quiet

what has been delayed

vacant floorboards

do not creak as they should

motionless backsplash of soft light

fills little of the space

a home once forgotten

holds as if nothing has passed

time holds it in an embrace

a beat too long

forever

There’s an echo etched on your face of memory

I don’t want to let it go just yet

another few minutes of believing you’re still around

Until I crash through the glass ceiling of reality

A piece of me is still stuck in the office

staring into the blinding computer screen

shock of something witty you said

while your echoing footsteps lead away

still stuck at my desk

biting nails into infinity

appointment after appointment

still stuck at the table

hands covering mouth

Laughter spread across the face

I’m still laughing

stuck with hand to cheeks

of jokes ringing out

I am still in my car

eyes wide staring into nothing

tears leaving trails

from the horror of reality

I am still kneeling beside your casket

Whispering soothing words

patting gently arms that won’t rise

I am still standing beside your gravestone

flowers folded in my arms

bright as the sun looming

I am still here sitting in thought

eyes meet nothing but new time

etched into a lifetime

still slowly peeling away

I am still here